I'm not desparate... yet

I have always been asked about the M word.
When is your turn?
When can I eat nasi minyak?

And I always have the right answer
Not my time yet
If God's willing, next week also can.

Yeah stupid answers to stupid questions. Come on, let us all admit it, they are stupid questions. If you don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend, how do you know when you're gonna get married? It's not like you can pick a partner at Spouse 'R' Us if you plan to be married next month.

I may not seem to care when I give out these stupid answers but I do wonder sometimes, do I even want to get married?

Considering marriage at the most basic positive concept, having someone to love and support you (emotionally and financially ) all the time, I would say yes. However, considering the lengths you have to go through to find that someone who can love and support you (emotionally and financially ), the headache of organizing and funding the perfect wedding (for your family members), welcoming some extra people in your family (the in-laws), and the possibility that the extra people do not adore you as much as your partner does, I think I'll pass.

Confession time: Once, I even considered the possibility of me being gay and I thought about it and I dug deep in the deepest recesses of my thoughts and feelings and the answer is... no, definitely not.

But I know that all my happily married friends would say, "It's worth it", and I have to agree (provided that you manage to find 'The One').

So sure I do want to be married in the future, if and when I find the right guy. In the meantime I'm happy with the way I am right now. Yes I know that's the answer that all the single people give to justify being alone but I'm not one to lie to myself and I can honestly say, take away some minor glitches like still living with my parents and being financially unsecure, I'm pretty happy.

My normal week consists of going to work, return home, watch tv if there's anything worth watching, switch on the computer, check my e-mails, blog if there's anything worth writing about, surf the net, play some computer games or solve that su doku puzzle I found on the net. When I get tired, I get ready for bed, read a book until I get sleepy and go to sleep.

My off days are a bit more interesting . I try to wake up as late as possible but you know moms would not let you do that, try to watch as much tv as possible but there's nothing good on most of the time, try to clean the room but you know it's gonna get messed up again in a few days anyway so why bother, or try to finish the project that you started years ago but you'd rather do something else .

If I have errands to run or people to meet I would go out. If not I would watch tv, clean the house a bit, play with the cats, or dawdle with the computer, things that I would normally do working days, with a longer duration. It's mundane and boring to most people but I enjoy it. I can truly say that I am never bored. There's always that book that I want to read, those things that I want to write about, things that I want to check out, things that I can do quietly by myself. The perfect anti-social .

Which leads to a theory I have in mind...

Kampung Gal's Crazy Theory: I think that those people who decided to settle and marry the next person who accepted them are actually bored.

I'm serious here. They have it all, a great job, good bunch of friends, a house, a car, and great health. Their free time consists of calling up friends who would want to spent time with them, if no one's available they go to malls and movies alone, or just stay home and do nothing. One day, a friend/family introduced someone to them. He/she is nice, but there's no fireworks, no chemistry, they know he/she is not the one. But they surrendered to the calling and he/she seems to be willing so you get married. They have a nice marriage, have a nice kid, life is just as 'they' say it would be. Suddenly 'The One' appears and they crumbled, their life goes haywire and before you know it, they just destroyed the lives of two people (or more depending on how many kids they got).

But there are those few who did get that perfect marriage despite not being deeply in love in the beginning and to them I'd say, "I'm really happy for you". I wish I can have that but I'm not willing to take the risk. I'm content with the way it is and I'm not going to do anything drastic to change that like signing up for FriendFinder, Dateclub, mateclub, whateverclub, speed dating or something like that.

Well... not yet anyway.


Somebody better shoot me before I signed up to one of those clubs...