Monday, September 26, 2005

I'm not desparate... yet

I have always been asked about the M word.
When is your turn?
When can I eat nasi minyak?

And I always have the right answer
Not my time yet
If God's willing, next week also can.

Yeah stupid answers to stupid questions. Come on, let us all admit it, they are stupid questions. If you don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend, how do you know when you're gonna get married? It's not like you can pick a partner at Spouse 'R' Us if you plan to be married next month.

I may not seem to care when I give out these stupid answers but I do wonder sometimes, do I even want to get married?

Considering marriage at the most basic positive concept, having someone to love and support you (emotionally and financially Image hosted by ) all the time, I would say yes. However, considering the lengths you have to go through to find that someone who can love and support you (emotionally and financially Image hosted by ), the headache of organizing and funding the perfect wedding (for your family members), welcoming some extra people in your family (the in-laws), and the possibility that the extra people do not adore you as much as your partner does, I think I'll pass.

Confession time: Once, I even considered the possibility of me being gay Image hosted by and I thought about it and I dug deep in the deepest recesses of my thoughts and feelings and the answer is... no, definitely not.

But I know that all my happily married friends would say, "It's worth it", and I have to agree (provided that you manage to find 'The One').

So sure I do want to be married in the future, if and when I find the right guy. In the meantime I'm happy with the way I am right now. Yes I know that's the answer that all the single people give to justify being alone but I'm not one to lie to myself and I can honestly say, take away some minor glitches like still living with my parents and being financially unsecure, I'm pretty happy.

My normal week consists of going to work, return home, watch tv if there's anything worth watching, switch on the computer, check my e-mails, blog if there's anything worth writing about, surf the net, play some computer games or solve that su doku puzzle I found on the net. When I get tired, I get ready for bed, read a book until I get sleepy and go to sleep.

My off days are a bit more interesting Image hosted by I try to wake up as late as possible but you know moms would not let you do that, try to watch as much tv as possible but there's nothing good on most of the time, try to clean the room but you know it's gonna get messed up again in a few days anyway so why bother, or try to finish the project that you started years ago but you'd rather do something else Image hosted by

If I have errands to run or people to meet I would go out. If not I would watch tv, clean the house a bit, play with the cats, or dawdle with the computer, things that I would normally do working days, with a longer duration. It's mundane and boring to most people but I enjoy it. I can truly say that I am never bored. There's always that book that I want to read, those things that I want to write about, things that I want to check out, things that I can do quietly by myself. The perfect anti-social Image hosted by

Which leads to a theory I have in mind...

Kampung Gal's Crazy Theory: I think that those people who decided to settle and marry the next person who accepted them are actually bored.

I'm serious here. They have it all, a great job, good bunch of friends, a house, a car, and great health. Their free time consists of calling up friends who would want to spent time with them, if no one's available they go to malls and movies alone, or just stay home and do nothing. One day, a friend/family introduced someone to them. He/she is nice, but there's no fireworks, no chemistry, they know he/she is not the one. But they surrendered to the calling and he/she seems to be willing so you get married. They have a nice marriage, have a nice kid, life is just as 'they' say it would be. Suddenly 'The One' appears and they crumbled, their life goes haywire and before you know it, they just destroyed the lives of two people (or more depending on how many kids they got).

But there are those few who did get that perfect marriage despite not being deeply in love in the beginning and to them I'd say, "I'm really happy for you". I wish I can have that but I'm not willing to take the risk. I'm content with the way it is and I'm not going to do anything drastic to change that like signing up for FriendFinder, Dateclub, mateclub, whateverclub, speed dating or something like that.

Well... not yet anyway.

Somebody better shoot me before I signed up to one of those clubs...


Desparil said...

if you do decide to sign up for Friendster, can i add you?

i've had my share of 'questioning time' too. my favourite answer so far is 'dah kahwin dah, nikah je belum'. in my experience the success rate of making the questioner shut up and quit disturbing me is 100%. you can try it if you like. :)

Kampung Gal said...

Friendster? What's that?

Guys don't need to worry la. You can be 35 and still be considered eligible.
35 yr old woman = old news

vivica-defect said...

lol. i always use the "kawin dah, nikah belum " line.

Wuching said...

trust me, questions will keep coming; now they ask about u getting married, next is when u get baby,after that when is next baby & the next & the next & after all that when u gonna die!

bawangmerah said...

This sounds like the exact thing I'm going through right now. Heck even the daily routine is the same. heheheh. But I don't think there is a perfect 'the one'. Lately I don't buy 'the one' idea anymore.

Kampung Gal said...

bawangmerah, if I read that correctly, you're on your way to 'settling'.

of course there's no 'perfect the one' but there is still 'the one' out there (crossing my fingers)

Anonymous said...

I share your thoughts and experiences. Just turned 29 and questions like those abound. Marriage is not something to rush into. Not even if its with the right personn.

- Aizuddin Danian

Desparil said...

guys don't have to worry? i beg to differ. though my parents are pretty laid back when it comes to me, i've known some guys whose life are made into a living hell due to nosy paraents and relatives.

besides, if you're married at 35 and have a kid immediately after, when he/she is 15.. you'll be like 50. silap2 kena heart attack nanti..

Miss YY said...

Hi! First timer here... Nice thougths you have here :-)
Wish you all the luck to fine "The One" :-)