Monday, April 18, 2005

You do care!

Wow! Can't help but feel awed by all the feedbacks that I got from my last post. Someone do care! To all... let me see... 1... 2... 3... 9 of you who bothered to entertain my whims I'm really grateful.

At the beginning it was pretty even between resigning and not resigning. But after awhile the scale tipped towards not resigning. I thought long and hard about this and I have made my decision.

I may sound desperate and agitated in my last post but after some time I find that I don't have any reason to feel that way. I think it was the fact that I was really vying for the job at Company ABC and I was disappointed when I didn't make the cut. I think it was just not meant to be. A better phrase to express this is that "My rezeki is just not with that place". So fine, I'll accept that.

The company that I'm currently working in is actually not that bad that I just have to leave it right away. It does have its minor hiccups here and there (and everywhere) but I think it's expected when you're working with a small business. There are some things that I find irritating especially when I've done all I can to make a certain project successful but it will always get stuck when a certain action from my boss is needed. Well at least he can't blame me if a project was not up to his expectations. Fine.

This boss of mine also owns other businesses which he shared with his many brothers. Sometimes these other businesses will criss-cross even though they are entirely unrelated. I remember once when he told all his staff to not mention the company's name when picking up the phone, which we still do until now actually. I don't understand why and I don't want to understand why. As long as he's paying my salary on time and put the money in my EPF, I guess it's fine.

Another part of criss-crossing his businesses is going on in another aspect. You see, now I have to do some admin stuff for his other companies as well like ageing reports, balance sheet, profit & loss etc. It started with minor things that I can finish in about 30 minutes. But today all of a sudden I was bidden to go to his brother's office. When I got there his brother passed me this 1/2 inch-thick report printed on those A3-sized computer paper filled with company names. My task is to type all those company names into Excel. After two hours I didn't even finish half of it and I'm a pretty fast typer. So tomorrow I have to go there again until I completed everything. But I think I can finish it by tomorrow. Fine.

Okay I must admit. I am a bit free in between the many tasks that form my job description. But I just can't help but get this irritating vibe running through the very fiber of my being everytime I have to spend more than an hour in front of the PC typing (apart from blogging that is). This is the reason why I left the bank goddammit! It was why I left all the insurance coverage, medical benefits, dental benefits, among many others, to join this company who only gives the very minimum of employee benefits - I'm sick and tired of typing data!

But I guess my love for the things that I deal with in this company is like that gulp of water that cures the hiccups. I was really hoping that this company could be my stepping stone into a long and fruitful career in the book industry. After working here for two years and acquiring a degree, I thought it's time to step into bigger things. And then this new company comes along which could have been my big break but alas it wasn't.

I wish they would just tell me what's wrong. I wish they would just tell me...

I'm sorry,
you're not successful
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instead of,
We've put your
application under KIV
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Did I dress wrongly? Did I smell bad? Did I say something so appaling that I don't deserve another minute of their time? They didn't even give me a second chance.

Oh well, like I said earlier,

Rezeki saya
bukan di sini
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Back to the classifieds!

In the meantime I'll just stick around and see what other hiccups I will get.

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